"...Ready For It?"


My life has never felt like a Taylor Swift song more than it has this past year. Recently, I sat on my blog re-reading my so called relationship woes from this past year, the friendships I've gained and lost, thinking back on the peaks and pits of this past year and it has been rough. I said goodbye to people I loved... friends, relationship and even family members. (Some of you may know my grandfather passed away the week after Thanksgiving and I still don't know how to feel about it. I'm obviously so upset, but then I also get frustrated that I he's gone and I don't have an opportunity to build a relationship with him. I also think about my Aunt Margaret's eulogy and how everything she said was so spot on, it was my grandpa eloquently remembered. He was the hardest working person I knew, so generous and strong patriarch.) But from that I've been able to identify how I would want to improve upon myself to make changes for 2018.

I wanted to say thank you to my audience who have followed along and supported me in the trials and tribulations of my personal life in 2017. I was able to share my battle with anxiety with you guys, my shitty ass science experiment, my dating adventures, my travels, my being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and the friendships I've gained and loss. 2017 was not the best year for me, and you bet your ass I'm leaving the excess baggage in 2017. None of this shit is coming into 2018 with me. (I've even told Anelisse, that she has full permission to punch me as hard as she can if I start to waiver, ha) 2018, I'm so ready for you.

With the start of 2018, I'm trying to make resolutions I can work at keeping. I was doodling in my bullet journal and identified some good ones. The FIRST is obviously to travel more. One of the best ways to learn who you are and what you're capable of is by traveling. I want to experience everything I can in life, while I'm fortunate enough to be on this planet. I want to eat my way through as many countries as possible, and fall in love with every street corner and alleyway in every city I explore. I'll be heading to France and Austria next month so seems like I've already got some momentum going. SECOND, is to forgive but don't forget. For the longest time, I've had this "once you fuck up, off with your head" mentality and although it does protect me, I think it closes me off even more. So in 2018, I want to forgive others that scorn me, but always know what they are capable of so I'm able to prepare myself and tread lightly. THIRD, would be to open myself back up to love or the possibility of it. I didn't have the best year relationship wise but that's okay. It was a learning experience. I think now I'm truly at a good place, where I'm open to new relationships and not chained to the hope of my failed one from last year. FOURTH, (I totally stole this from my friend Angel but it was a good one) read one book a month. I'm totally guilty of getting stuck in a hole watching TV or playing on my phone, so instead of getting lost in some dark Instagram hole my goal is to pick up a book. FIFTH, stop saving for things and start saving for life. I'm great at saving money for things. Whether is a brand new Gucci bag or an international trip, but when it comes to saving for tomorrow... I have to say I'm not the best. I'm semi-responsible in the sense that I have a 401k and a "rainy day" savings account in which I don't pull money out of. But I live with this... you could die tomorrow mentality that I'm not the best at saving for some far off future. SIXTH, take better care of myself and my health. This is pretty self explanatory. I've been pescatarian on and off in 2017. I'd like to continue that into 2018. The only time I don't "restrict" myself is when I'm on Holiday, so I'll definitely be having Croque Madam's for breakfast every morning. But for the most part, I eat pretty healthy. If anything, I'd like to cut down on my caffeine intake. I drink a lot of coffee. Like 2-3 cups a day minimum. 

These are my six resolutions... or intentions, maybe goals. Six things I intend to work at throughout the year. I'm not one of those "New Year, New Me" people. I love the me I am. So... New Year, Same Me with 6 goals. Hopefully, I can keep at them. Happy 2018 Jems.

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